Craziest Things Pizza Delivery People Have Seen
These pizza delivery stories will haunt you, make you laugh and surely have you questioning people's intelligence!
“It was close to Halloween and I pulled up to this house and it was dark and spooky,” says Reddit user zestymangos. “When I got up to the walkway to the door an old lady was just standing there and saying ‘help meee.’ I was already spooked at this point but she just wanted help inside and when she opened the door the house had no furniture except one TV and there were maybe 4 or 5 people in wheelchairs sitting around it in dead silence.” We scoured Reddit for these 30 real-life neighbor nightmares—some of which may make you rethink just what makes someone a crazy neighbor.
When Reddit user LovesMeSomeRedhead pulled up to the home he was delivering pizza to, he was met with FBI and SWAT vans.
“The SWAT guys, in armor with ARs, are getting up on rooftops and the FBI guys are running from tree to tree down the street (and away from my delivery I might add). I walked up to the door and beat on it and this ancient hippy dude opens it up, big white beard and all, as clouds of pot smoke exit his place. I told him, ‘Hey, I don’t know if you care, but there is a big FBI raid going on right down your street.’
“He ran out to look, freaked out, and ran back inside. You could hear what sounded like a high school football team running around inside and he was gone for probably 5 minutes – a long time in stoner-hungry-for-pizza time. When he opened the door, all the furniture was moved around, there were at least 8 guys sitting calmly in the living room and the place smelled of air freshener. He paid me, handed me a $50, and said thanks. Dudes were up to something but the cops weren’t there for them.”
“One time pretty sure I walked in on a counterfeiting operation,” says Reddit user MysticMoteToter. “Two gates with people posted at them, was led into a room by the dude at the second gate and there was a group of people around a table who looked shocked at me being there and on the table were a bunch of $100 bills and also printout closeups of parts of them.” From unique to funny to downright gross, here are some of the weirdest things Reddit users have found outside after the snow melted.
“She was stuck to her recliner!”
Reddit user avesky recounts one disturbing experience.
“I delivered 4 large pizzas to an apartment complex. The person that ordered gave us the door code, so we could just enter the building. I had never delivered to this address before, so I just walked up to the door and knocked as per usual. I just heard a muffled voice from inside the apartment say ‘come in the door’s unlocked.’ Normally I would never go into someones house, but it sounded like an old lady, so I entered. What I found inside was equal parts shocking and sad.”
According to the delivery driver, the woman looked like she was stuck to her recliner!
“It looked as though her body had fused with the fabric due to not moving for days at a time. If it wasn’t apparent to me by the piles of empty soda bottles, take out containers, and pizza boxes that this woman was probably unable to get out of her recliner, the acrid smell that hit your face as you entered would have made it obvious.”
A Puzzling Delivery
“This wasn’t me, but the delivery drivers often would tell stories about the ‘puzzle guy.’ Every time they would deliver to a specific house, this weird guy would make them solve one of his homemade puzzles in order to get a tip. If they didn’t solve it, he wouldn’t give them anything at all. He’d even let them keep the puzzle after they solved it too,” says Reddit user B_Schmidt353.
Reddit user sneakybadg3r says one of his regular deliveries was to a woman dubbed “the crow.” The woman would order seven large supreme pizzas every couple of days. When he first began to deliver the pizzas, she would only accept them through the bottom of her garage, so you couldn’t see the upper half of her body. She’d “throw the money out of the garage in a plastic zip lock baggie.” Months later, things changed.
“It wasn’t until after 4-6 months of being the only driver that delivered to her that she was comfortable pulling the garage door up all the way (she at that point knew my name and would request me.). People had started calling her ‘the crow’ because she raised some kind of black birds in her garage and they would squawk like crazy. The pizzas were apparently for her birds.” Check out these 13 amazing scarecrows.
“Come around back.”
Reddit user Alchemic_Art showed up to an abandoned house when delivering a pizza. “It was around dusk and the house was so obviously uninhabited, I could see trees growing through the windows and the backside of the house was crumbling so badly I could see to the backyard… from the street.
“The instructions were to ‘come around back.’ I double checked the address after locking my doors, called the customer a couple of times, called the store and told ’em what was up and why I wasn’t delivering the pizza and headed out. I mean seriously who would have been dumb enough to go to the back of that house?” Check out these 50 abandoned houses that would look great restored.
A Little Too Late
“My husband delivered to an older woman who ended up dying during the time it took for him to get there after she placed the call (~20 mins),” says Reddit user Mrs0Murder. “He said he showed up as they were loading her up into an ambulance (I think) and that the family was standing around watching and he didn’t know what to do so he gave it to one of the family members (who paid for it) and left.”
A Cat Throw Down
Reddit user ApoclaTrish says they’ve seen a lot of weird things in their pizza delivery days, but one takes the cake!
“A woman answered with her huge beautiful Siamese cat. I love that breed, so I ask if I can pet him. She says yes, I bend down. The cat purrs, rubs against me, all the usual signs of liking it. So I stand up to finish giving this lady her pizza, the cat lunges and bites me above my right eye, and wraps all 4 limbs around my head. Panic! Freeze! What do I do?! What is going on?! Why isn’t this lady helping me????
“I grab this demon cat from hell by the front legs and just rip him off of me. As I do my contact lens pops off. All I can think is that it’s eye skin coming off of my eyeball. I throw the cat down and just freak out at the amount of blood that starts pouring out of my gash.
“The woman brings me into her house and puts a towel on. I tell her she has to take me to the emergency room or call 911 as I can’t see to drive myself. After all it was her cat who attacked me. She drives me to a minor ER place. I get stitches, and a tetanus shot. She foots the bill. Never see her again. Boss wasn’t happy that I missed the rest of the night, or had another order in my car.” Speaking of cats, have you seen the deluxe cat furniture that is available for pampered felines? Check this out!
A Flaming Hot Delivery
“When I was in college I delivered pizzas, and I once stopped at a delivery and noticed that the neighbors house was about to be on fire,” says Reddit user emusteve2. “I say ‘about’ because the fence attached to the house was in flames, and it was up against the house. The flames were licking the eves.
“I ran up to the front door and rang the doorbell, knocked, yelled… nothing. I called the fire department. Then, I ran to the house next door, pulled off their hose, ran to the other side of the house on fire, attached it, and started spraying the fire. I had most of it out when the fire department arrived, and they finished the job.
“As they were spraying it down, a 20-year-old-girl comes out of the house with two 13/14 year old girls. Apparently, the 20-year-old was babysitting the younger ones, and was scared to open the door. Earlier that night, the two younger girls had broken up with their boyfriends and, with the babysitters help, set fire to pictures of their ex-boyfriends and threw them in the trashcan outside. The trashcan just happened to be up against the wood fence that was up against the house.
“I delivered the pizza next door and went on with my shift. A week later, their parents stopped by the store looking for me and gave me a $50 gift card to a local mall to say thank you for saving their kids from a fiery inferno of death. The babysitter got fired (ha).”